Jeans. A true staple of modern men’s clothing. A good pair can be paired with sneakers, and a t-shirt for a quick trip to the store, or with a blazer for a first date. Simply put, jeans are everywhere, and are worn by most people, including our President, who was recently persuaded to upgrade his.
How then, do we see soo many people in funky pairs like this picture?
What on Earth???
Below are the Ten Commandments of Men’s Denim, given from on high, to guide you, and a few links to some cool pairs.
1. Thou shall not attempt to pull off the “skinny jeans” that we’ve seen on a lot of hipsters lately. Very few people can, and the odds are very good that you’re not one of them. So, just say no.
2. Thou shall not attempt the acid washed, super light jeans that went out a long time ago. They may come back someday, but until they do, hide them.
3. Thou shall choose pre-distressed jeans wisely. They are in vogue as of writing, and a little distressing on your nightlife jeans is fine. The ones you wear on causal Fridays, not so much. If the knees on the jeans are completely cut out, call Eddie Van Halen, and send him his denim back.
4. Thou shall wear DARK denim, as it is your swiss army knife of the jeans world. You can pair them with a shirt and be fine. You can also dress them up with nice shoes, and a blazer, and look like THE MAN. This duality is harder to pull off with light colored denim, which is seen as more casual.
5. Thou shall choose jeans that fit properly. If you have to struggle with the zipper, and button to get them closed, they are too tight. If they fall down to your knees if you don’t wear them with a belt, they are too big. Somewhere in between is what you’re aiming for.
6. Thou shall buy QUALITY Denim. The $14.99 super saver specials, just won’t cut it in the long run. Be not surprised if they fall apart very quickly.
7. Thou shall Not buy ridiculously over priced jeans. Unless the jeans in the $250 plus range do the dishes, mow the lawn, and fetch the newspaper, there is no real reason to buy them. There are way too many great options available in the $75-$175 range, to make the others really worth it other than conspicuous consumption.
8. Thou shall buy your jeans on sale. Yes, it is much easier to walk in, buy what you want, and worry about the price later. Considering that a good pair can last longer than your cell phone, some car loans, and most Hollywood marriages, signing up for email lists, and waiting for a sale allows for a better quality of purchase.
9. Thou shall turn your wash your jeans in cold water and turn them inside out when doing so. It sound silly, but it will help the color last a lot longer.
10. Thou shall enlist a fashionable woman’s help in buying jeans. Most women really do have an eye for what looks good on you. Enlist an impartial female, a spouse, or female friend to help you in this. The results will be worth it. Trust me on this one.
A Few Good Men’s Pairs:
Lucky Brand 181′s. These are very similar to the ones I LIVE in.
Lucky Brand Men’s Bootleg 181 Jean
Antik Denim: trendy, and solid quality
Antik Denim Men’s Depp Relaxed Boot Cut Jean
7 For All Mankind : trendy, yet timeless. Pricey.
7 For All Mankind Men’s Boot Cut with Ombre Chainstitch Squiggle
Levi’s Men’s 501: THE classic men’s jean
Levi’s Men’s 501 Shrink To Fit Jean
Buffalo by David Bitton: Trendy and solid quality.
Buffalo by David Bitton Men’s Don Jean
(Warning! Danger! The above are affiliate links!)
J. “I see you” Channell
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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
This is good advice that every man should follow. Also, that picture is hilarious…how can people even walk in jeans like that?!
LOVE me some Buffalo-X jeans (David Bitton with just a tad bit of polyurethan to give it some stretch). Best jeans in the world, and for about $125 ($100 with my discount!)
I don’t care what you say about skinny jeans, I love em and think they look great on me. Of course a lot of people (especially older) will not be able to pull it off. It really comes down to finding your identity and what fits your personality.
@ Jonny
If you can pull them off, go for it. Most people can’t. I’d look pretty crazy if I tried….
I would like to add an 11th Commandment: “Thou shalt not wear Wranglers.” I don’t care where you live, what your profession is: (Cattle Rancher/ Professional Country Singer/ Magic Rhinestone Cowboy), or how easily they allow you to groove through the Boot Scootin’ Boogie. St-Wranglers are just WRONG, for a plethora of reasons, but I will go ahead and list just two:
1. They are mostly too tight. Please guys, leave something to the imagination…
2. They scream: “I am going to take you to McDonald’s or Mr. Bojangles on our first date !!!!” yes, yes, Class- all the way.
So, just like the DUI signs on the highway in Georgia:
“Don’t do it. They Kill.”
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