The jury has come back with a verdict, and the evidence is solid. The majority of human communication is either physical, or tonal, to paraphrase the landmark Mehrabian study. To quote the great movie Hitch “60% of all human communication is nonverbal, body language; 30% is your tone, so that means 90% of what you’re saying ain’t coming out of your mouth.” If you haven’t seen the movie: do so asap. The first 15 minutes are pure brilliance. Many guys, go through life aware that there is something subtle going on, and they may be missing it. No longer! Today we are going to walk you through a basic guide to this art that is body language.
Basic Principles:
1. Proximity.
A person’s distance from you often indicates the relative interest or comfort level in the interaction. This does vary culturally, with middle eastern, and Latin cultures being closer, and northern European being generally more distant. Also, guys listen up on this one. If a girl goes out of her way to be near you repeatedly, or moves closer for no real reason, or stands near you facing slightly away, she may very well be telling you that your approach is welcome.
2. Leaning.
If your having a conversation, and you’re leaning forward towards the other person, it signals a high interest in the interaction. If you, or the other party leans back, either in a chair or standing, it can signal discomfort in the interaction. Guys take note, too much leaning in, or “pecking” while talking to a woman you just met, may signal neediness, or overeagerness. Don’t fall prey to this one, and stand up straight.
3. Eye contact.
Strong contact can definitely be a source of that “spark” we all search for. Repeated eye contact is a very good thing, and often signals attraction, and an invitation to approach. If a person breaks eye contact away on a level plane, to the left or right, it probably is not an approach invitation. If a woman breaks eye contact, down and at an angle, she very well may be attracted.
4. Angle.
Orienting, and angling your body towards someone is a sign of comfort, and interest. Angling, crossing of legs away, may signal discomfort.
5. Touching.
Touching is a good thing, and signals a higher amount of attraction or comfort. To once again quote Hitch…”in cause you didn’t go to high school, (playful) hitting is a good thing. Guys, if you make a wisecrack, and she lightly punches you in the arm, it’s likely your on the right track.
6. Mirroring.
This occurs when both parties, voice tone and pace, leaning, angling, touching and proximity sync with one another. This creates strong rapport between the interacting parties, and has a strong “me too” effect.
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