Ladies, ever wonder how Oprah, J.K. Rowling, Rachel Ray, or The First Lady Michelle Obama, can be such confident role models for women? Guys, have you ever wondered how guys like Carey Grant, Steve McQueen, Sean Connery, and George Clooney come off as so self assured, suave, and confident? It’s NOT just ’cause they are famous, and wealthy! If you read through their stories, nearly all of them went through very tough times, and have come out the other side of that dark tunnel. Here are a few tips to help you be a bit more like them, regardless of your current circumstances.
1. Associate with confident people.
“If you put 1 crab in a bucket, you need to put a lid on it, because it will climb out. If you put in 2 crabs, you can forget the lid, because if 1 tries to climb out, the other will pull it back in.”
Do you associate with people that want to rein you in, or pull you back into the bucket of grime? If so, the odds of them rubbing off on your mentality are very, very good. Ditch them, or put them on notice. I’m serious. You can say “I appreciate you as a friend, and your negative attitude tend to rub off on me. I want to continue hanging out with you, and the constant negativity will have to stop for me to do so.” This may seem a bit harsh at first, but it will bring these habits to their attention, and cause you both to evaluate where things stand. Most people will correct their behavior, as many don’t know how it effects others. If they don’t cut it out, and you stop returning their calls, they know exactly why.
Research has proven many times over, that those closest to you determine if you will reach your potential. Dr. John Maxwell calls this “The Law of the inner Circle.” Associate with those who bring you up, and believe in themselves, and you.
2. Use positive affirmations.
Thoughts are things. We become what we think about. If you constantly, hear or say to yourself “You cant do it. You’re not qualified. What’s the use?, then those things are likely to come to pass. Instead say to yourself “I lose nothing by trying, why not do it? I am enough. This is a great challenge, it will require the best of me.”
For more on this topic, click for The Power of Positive Affirmations
3. Use Visualization.
Often in life, we get what we expect. The mind is an exceptionally powerful tool. In children under the age of 5, they can not distinguish fantasy from reality. If they see it on TV, it’s as if it has indeed happened. Adults are not very far removed from this state. Visualizing a great outcome of an upcoming event, prepares the mind in a confident way. It tricks the mind, into think that outcome has become reality. This allows you to walk tall in situations that would normally make you nervous, or timid.
4. Check your physiology.
If your head bowed, staring at your feet? Is your posture all slumped over? Many studies have shown the effect of physiology on attitude, and confidence. If you find yourself feeling weak, and not up to it, try standing or sitting up straight, and adjusting your gaze. You will find you feel better, and more powerful in short order.
5. Banish Negative thoughts and self talk.
Negativity has an insidious creep to it, that can turn any of us into a Debbie Downer on any given day.
The best way to banish such basura, is to have a system whereby you take immediate action, to change the negativity into a positive thought. I personally like wearing a rubber band, or one of those LiveStrong wristbands, and snapping my wrist when I have such thoughts, or words. Ya, it stings a bit, but it gets the point across. In fact, it makes for a great 30 day experiment. Try it, you can thank me later 
6. Be able to laugh at yourself.
The truly secure and confident don’t take themselves too seriously, and can laugh off the mistake, and gaffes they will make. Making mistakes will happen. It’s unavoidable. How you deal with it, is the test.
Being able, to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, have a laugh, and keep going is key. So, when you stumble, take a bow, rather than turning red, and being ashamed. This will actually draw people closer to you, and make you more relateable.
7. Use small wins to built momentum.
A few small wins, can precede bigger wins. Momentum is key in life. Momentum can be sensed by others, and makes things in general easier. Remember when the Red Sox FINALLY took out the Yankees in 2004? Was there any doubt they would steamroll the Cardinals after that? None. The Cards got swept, and rightfully so. Simply put, the Red Sox had immense momentum.
8. Know who you are and where you are going.
A person with a secure sense of self, and direction is not easily swept aside, and is a force to be reckoned with. The best people to follow and model know what their overall purpose is, and overlook momentary setbacks. Know your strengths and weaknesses well, as well as, your overall purpose, allows you an uncanny stability that others will envy.
What are your personal steps to developing confidence?
